Alzheimers health...she worked me over

There is only two people I am gonna to work for, my spouse and his alzheimered out mother. M-a-n, she worked me yesterday. She first was over 6:50am and then returned 8:30am and was over all day minus a few minutes here and there, she had to go home "to check on something" til 7pm. She just sits on the sofa doing nothing, and laughs and grumbles to herself.

Once she got on my daughters case for not wearing shoes in the house. Oh my when she was a child they would never take off their shoes til they went to bed. It has been awhile since she has been on our cases about wearing shoes until bed. Yet, I know when I go to her apartment she is in her nylons, oops sorry it never happens what am I thinking.

Yesterday she was insisting she lost a ring near where she was sitting. "I always wear two rings on this finger and three on this one" "It was my son who pointing out he saw it fall off". He had already tried to help look for the mysterious lost ring. He didn't see if fall off, when I called him on the phone about it, No but he did say he tried looking for her . Of course she didn't remember him looking but convienced he is the one who saw it fall off and pointed it out to her.

She had me on my hands and knees with a flash light in her mind its impossible to see anything cause its too dark. (She is blind) she had me physically moving anything she thought I could move. She wanted to move the sofa, I told her no way will I let any 80 year old move furniture. She was mad as hell. She was mad why wouldn't I let her. She couldn't understand. So I moved the sofa, she didn't believe me there was no ring. She got on her hands and knees and felt with her hands. She was obsessed with her son saw it fall it is on the floor. She was yelling at me she wasn't accusing me of stealing it, she just wants the ring.

Calmly, I kept telling her there was no ring anywhere on the carpet, I wished there was so I could give it too her. More then once she went to her hands and knees and felt around.

Oh man she was on my case to vacum up the crap that settles under a sofa. She was going to do herself. No, I will take care of it, I have to turn off the A/C or it will blow a breaker. She was demanding at times to sweep it up. I had enough so I did it, no arguements just did it.

The spouse walks in and she tries to tell on me, a different version then what was really going on. He already knew she was making me move stuff. In response and laughing yeah well she was crying cause I wouldn't let her move the sofa. He ringed in, MOM myself I wouldn't let any 80 year old person much less my own mother move furniture. She got upset again, she can do it.
She thinks she is younger then she is, while I don't really care if she says she is 29 I can't let any 80 year old person lift a finger in my home.

The sofa remained away from the wall until she left, I knew just knew to leave it that way. Sure enough she got on her hands and knees and was behind that sofa looking for the ring before she left. I lost count of the times she had me on my hands and knees with a flash light.

At one point I had opened up the blinds a bit a ray of light cast upon the carpet. "Do you see that?" Whats that? "That, the light?" What light? "The light on the carpet?, pointing" Yes I see it. "Do you see the light, right there?" Yes I see the light. "Where is it coming from, I never seen light in here before" Its from the blinds being open, is it bothering you? "No it's not bothering me!" Then she burst into crying like she just found out her spouse died type of crying and just over reacting, child would do for attention. What's the matter why are you crying. "I am so disgusted" I tried to ask her if it was the light, she wouldn't respond, she just shook her head no. Come on, now I can see and hear you crying talk to me. "I know, I am crying I am just disqusted"
...I just let her cry, and carrying on with her very appearent tantrum. She lifted her head and had turned her body towards me, I never left just stood near her yet with some distance. She wiped her eyes tried to compose herself. Went back to wanting to move the sofa back to the wall. Again said No, I would do it later after dinner. She yelled at me, "You make me so mad, you never let me do anything" I walked away from her at that point only to the kitchen though.

Last night she had one daughter in tears. My middle daughter doesn't understand why grandma is always so mean to her, no one knows why, but its the Alzheimer disease. Grandma called her a name when the daughter suggested she go all the way into the restroom to un-dress to use the toilet not in the hallway.
I hugged my daughter and told her to go upstairs splash some water on her face and come back down in a few minutes. Later I hugged her and reminded her grandma doesn't know she says the things she does, and will not remember it at that moment if I spoke up for her. I had to remind her Grandma doesn't think clearly, its ok.

We have to keep reminding the kids, Grandma doesn't know any better.
Hell Grandma thinks her entire life she has worn 5 necklaces at one time, and three rings on one finger and two on another. This has just started in the past couple years. She finds a necklace and puts it on. Even calling attention to the necklace addition we are lying she doesn't have that many on herself.

The other day, someone was trying to tell me to make her use a walker. They were walking behind her and she tripped into a flower bed nearly fell over. I could only respond with I can't make her. In her mind her feet are not broken therefore they are fine. She doesn't believe the foot doctor she has severe foot problems. The person I was talking too wasn't getting it. So I ended up with can you make one of your relatives use a walker if they didn't want too? NO, I guess not.

mothers and daughters....my bones right here hurt

Ever since my daughter has returned from the hospital she has said her hand hurts and wanted an ice pack for it. I did take her to follow up visit 2 days after. She was asked if she is having joint pain, she could only point out the places where the IV's were. Yesterday she assertively said her wrist bones hurt. I again mentioned to her its because of the chemo and all the medications she has to take. She seamed ok with the information and was by my side to learn how to make dinner.

I saw it in her eyes she meant business so I went to my purse and found her specialists business card. I called up the hand written number. Hello, a tone like what, why you bothering me. "I am looking for Dr____ have I dialed the correct number?" The tone changed quickly Yes this is she how may I help you. "This is Mrs____ and I calling in behalf of my daughter____. Her tone turned to excitement, I am so happy you called I was going to call you I have your daughters lab results and I wanted to talk to you before I went on vacation.

That's right apparently the HMO specialist doctor gave me her direct line to her office. WOW!
Although she didn't give much confidence when I asked about what I can give my daughter to ease her joint discomfort.

When I said my daughter is saying, it's her bones and where that are bothering her, is it the chemo the doctor said oh no its the side effects of the disease. I know better, I know she lied. I know all too well the disease does not have the side effect and I know the chemo does. Anyway she told me not to give her any over the counter medication with motrin in it. To increase the some of her medications, and go ahead and buy Mylanta between meals with the acid reflux. Just keep up the icing when she has joint pains.
Why lie? I don't get it.

Daily medications count is now 21. YIKES!
This one is for Joz...one more use for medical gloves..ice pack.

misc...change name tooo

After much consideration if I could change my name to any name it would be Sunshine. I have been thinking long and hard on this question, it's a tough one. I would legally change my name to Sunshine, that way even when the skies are grey I would be sun...shine . It could happen.
My friend Joz, what a pal, called me late last night, and I missed her call. She was my sunshine this morning when I got the voicemail. I try to be sunshine to her when we have IM'd each other over the years.

So the spouse would change his to Stone and all ready each child has some name that they share with a mineral or place in the world. OMG we are the Zappa's, but names that are commonly used.
Ok, except the Sunshine name.

I think the name fits me, the sun can be warm and cozy and other times hot as hell. Like me, and my sides.

misc...lets do chemo

What a year this has turned out to be. It's the year of chemo. I have always known the typical side effects of chemo, but this year I have really researched it. My father having cancer and been given only up to 2 years to live. My little daughter which doesn't have cancer but has to take chemo pills for the next few years. Now another relative (by marriage) has only a few years to live. Every-body chemo now.

No one has past, sometimes it's just the knowledge that is a weight.

My daughter is experiencing some classic side effects, but she is ok just knowing why she has them and what it is from. I don't baby her too much, I do try to make her as comfortable as possible.

Knowing why is sooo much better then wondering.

Alzheimers health...your preventing me from doing...

SYDNEY - Australian mental health researchers have developed a once-a-day pill they believe might stop or slow the onset of Alzheimer’s disease, with human trials expected within two months....A 15-month trial on mice showed the drug called PBT2 reduced the amyloid protein, which many scientists believe causes Alzheimer’s, by 60 percent within 24 hours, said researchers at The Mental Health Research Institute of Victoria.

The mother in law told me I was preventing her from doing her laundry. On and on how I won't let her do laundry I won't give her what she needs to do it. I walked with her to her apartment (30 seconds away), found her quarters on her table and additional several dollars worth of quarters as well. I picked up the laundry soap container and even measureded it out into a cup for her. She indicated she was fine, so I left. She was over within 5 minutes with basket in hand only enough laundry from the previous day not a week or two as she should have. She was at my door and said "I don't know where to do laundry". Ok, I will do your laundry for you. she liked that, who wouldn't right? She left only to return 1 minute later trying to give me her 20 dollars in quarters saying I needed the 20 dollars to do the laundry. I told her I would take care of it. (Obviously one load of laundry is not 20 dollars).

In the course of next two hours she kept coming over saying it was 4 oclock she was over every 40 minutes or so. Each time I had to tell her I had no where for her to sit because I was moving furniture around and I have crap in every available seating. "Thats ok I will just stand here" A mintue would pass then she would say ok, I will be back at 4.

Once I suggested she knit and or crotch , she replied do I know how to knit and crotch?
Yes, you know how to knit and crotch why don't you make a blanket? I don't know how to make a blanket. I don't think, I have anything to make a blanket. I reminded her she has 3 brand new rolls of yarn on her table, and she can put out a blanket in a week. Ok, I will see if its true she said. Another time when she returned and I had no seat for her I inquired about the knitting or crotching, it had only been about 40 mintues and about the 6th time of her over by this point. "I have been knitting all day long how fast do you really think I can make a blanket?" Very grippy in tone. I know you can make a blanket in a week. "Well I can't" O-H OK, then .What am I supposed to say to that? ( I know she has been knitting or crotching since she was 9 years old probably not a year has past until right now)

I did send my oldest daughter over to make sure the A/C was still on, that I turned on 8am in the morning.

After I had finally cleaned up my organizing or spring cleaning in the living room, sure enough she was over for lunch time. The older kids spent the time with her they watched cartoons and listened to music. Every 30 minutes she asked the kids if she can stay. She was over for 6 hours. She complained to the youngest how to help her get to her sisters and brothers. Even with my middle daughter 5 feet away from her she still thinks her grand daughter is in the hospital.
Everyday I have to suggest to her to wear shorts instead of pants cause it is so damn hot. Rarely does she dress for the weather, overly or under.

laughing...she thought at one point myself and my daughter were only in panties, cause she couldn't see that we were wearing shorts.

My days are not boring thats for sure. Just another day I making her miserable.

misc...this heat is making me bitchy

I have been bitchy...bitch, bitch, bitch, not so much being the bitch but bitching. Ah never mind.
Yesterday, according to weather.com my zip code it was 109 feels like 114 at 4:30pm still after 7pm it was 100. Nasty!

My GI problem really has been flaring up, I have been miserable. I have gotten to a point some of the pains I have gotten used to or a higher tolerance, constant annoying err in my abdomen. I thought this morning, is it weather related, is this damn heat and humidity really effecting me. Sure enough in my results "it's not your imagination".

I am so freakin tired all the time, I can't go back to being in bed 20 hours a day. I don't want to eat anything, I have too eat, choosing lesser of evils. It's all evil right now. My acid reflux is coming back hard too, damn right after eating sherbert. I know its bad when the pain killer and a shot of alcohol in 8 oz of juice doesn't ease anything.

Almost every night for the past couple of weeks including last night I have been having muscle jerks as I fall asleep. It slightly wakes me only for it to continue. I feel my muscles tightening up then the jerking, even at time my arms wail. It can be painful, it is annoying as hell. I can only reduce some of it, if I lay on my stomach which puts pressure on my front leg muscles. That isn't long my ribs start to hurt.
I have complained twice to my HMO about it, only to be told they never heard of it. Even when I insisted it is painful and bothersome, I was told there is no medication for it. Interesting there so much information on the net about it, I swear to my peanut butter, sometimes I wonder about the staff there. I have found it is either a sleep disorder, sleep starts or restless leg syndrom . I tried to tell the doctor it but just looked at me with head cocked to one side, uh dunno look. My own children and spouse have made comments about seeing me go through it.
My body flops and wails damn its painful and come the morning I am stiff, which is what wakes me up, but not feeling rested.

I have got to find me some device that will take the humdity away, it has to exist, I just don't know what they are called. I need my life back again.

misc..timing so far has been good

The past couple of months or this year in general has been good timing. While bad health is never good timing and vehicles needing major repairs is never a good time, it has worked out well. Now that I have said it I probably have jinx it all.
My daughter falling ill, I would never ever want it actually was good timing, during the summer, she didn't miss any school. My oldest not in school able to be the big sister and the oldest, helping out as she has done.
While I had to watch what I ate and look after myself while my daughter was in the hospital my GI problems didn't flare up until she returned home. I had a hell of day yesterday one of the worse in awhile, it was bad. Since my daughter has been home my issues have resurfaced, I hate feeling like crap, I hate feeling tired, I hate all the stomach problems I hate being very very tired. It has only been a couple of days already I want my ol lifestyle back. Last month was great for me. Yet, better now home then while she was in the hospital.

Funny, I have been married now for several years. Its timing that makes some sentiments so heart touching. My daughter interviewed the spouse while she was in the hospital and I was home for a short period of time. Then she interviewed me with the same questions later. My husband loves me he really loves me and the kids. His answers were more about his wife and kids then I answered. Yet, many answers it turns out we answered the same and didn't know it, things like 3 ways to improve the world, where to vacation etc. Questions just don't discuss, it doesn't come up, but we answered the same. When my daughter read his responses I cried. I cried tears of happiness. My spouse is a wonderful spouse and dad.

My mind, emotions and physical being has been so bent around my daughter and even how crappy I have been feeling. I know it is time for my spouse. I knew, I couldn't give him the time and attention a man deserves, because my mind was so bent on my daughter. Now, my mind is better my heart is better, she has only been complaining of acid reflux, she knows its a side effect. I am now waiting for my GI problems to reside just enough for the time with him. It is time.

It is time to get back to as normal as possible. I have things to do and people to give attention too just my gut has to cooperate.

If I knew, I would have health problems I wouldn't have gotten married. If I had any idea at all, my children would have health problems like this I would have gotten my tubes tied at a very early age and not have had children. Family is family we all deal with it together. Makes us all stronger and better people.

Alzheimers health...she just waits for him to leave

Oh my, the mother in law just waits for my spouse to leave then loves to give me a hard time. Yesterday while he was out she kept insisting she hasn't seen her grand daughter in days and just wouldn't look in the patio. Ok, so I change the subject, she will figure it out as soon as my daughter comes in from outside.

Man oh man, too long of conversations of her demanding to be put into a retirement home. She wants to go to the midwest . No matter how I told her its twice the rent here, no matter how I told her how small the rooms are, and she would have to get rid of most of her possessions she didn't care. She wants to go where her husband was. I tried to tell her they wouldn't let her have her jewelry nor cash. NO I want to go! You don't let me out of my house you never let me see anyone you make me be lonely.
Nicely and softly and loving as possible I tried to tell her it wasn't true, she is over for several hours a day and sees her grand children every day. IT IS TRUE you make me be lonely.

I want to go to a retirement home in ____ (state). I am going to call my sister in law for the place. I tried to explain to her she won't see her grand children every day that way. I don't care! Its your fault I am lonely.
I am going to come over here everyday all day long. OK, you know the little one starts school in September right? WELL I will just have to deal with that when the day comes.

Where is my son? He is probably out buying up the store as he always does what's the matter with him? He is bringing back dinner he will be back soon.

With each day she is getting worse and worse with her yelling and attitudes, and nastiness.

It is almost funny she is starting to get into my face so close I think she is going to kiss me on my lips. Asking me any question. Now she is doing it to neighbors that around the pool, I see these people move their heads back she is sooooo damn close. Well, they can defend themselves from a little ol lady getting in their face. haha

She doesn't say a word to me, until he leaves...I need to start recording the conversations, really she does wait.

That's me MISS making everyone lonely. I have that power, secret power, snap of my fingers make those around me miserable. NOT
Sometimes just have to laugh, about it all...well not in front of her of course.

just saying...nothing like some bullshit early in the morning

I don't know if I love this guy or hate him. I was laughing, on the inside cause it wouldn't be nice to wake up the spouse with my wicked laughter.
the 7 day miracle (myass) cleanse
What an actor he must have been a male cheerleader at some point. So passionate about the product talking with his hands, standing on some beach...whate-v-e-r.

Out right lies, all lies!
I wonder if he was brainwashed into believing all the crap or if he really believes in it.
How can they get away with all the bullshit claims? It needs to be pulled off the air or edited.It will not cure anything, it is not the fountain of youth. Myself having to do prep work for a colonoscopy I will say there is nothing fun about it. No, my skin didn't get better, it didn't take away inches, it didn't take away bloating, or cure my GI problems. The only thing it did, was make me feel sick very sick, and dehydrated prior to my scope. Every person I have ever met who has had to do colonoscopy doesn't look forward to having to do it again. It's the prepping, the cleansing out of the colon, and the procedure itself. Most cases put to sleep during the procedure but no one says YEAH, I get to cleanse my colon. Rather, comments don't wish it on anyone. People who have struggled with GI problems relating to colon and intestines will just laugh at this commercial. If this really was a cure then millions of people would not have to be on medications and surgery. It's just lies and some fad of the moment.

It pisses me off, some guy making such lies and offering up bullshit claims. No wonder so many people don't understand how difficult IBD, IBS, Colitis, Crohns disease etc etc is. Got some peppy asshole telling tv viewing audience I have your cure. It isn't a cure.
The only thing it is going to do is make you shit, more. What an asshole, no seriously he is telling people use the product and often, so you can ultimately land your ass in a hospital, that is what is going to happen.
People believing it will be the fountain of youth, and shedding the pinch an inch tummy roll, curing PMS and healthier skin would be doing themselves a disservice by cleansing the colon too much. A wake up call going to any pharmacist and say what product to use to cleanse the colon? They will probably inquire if prepping for a procedure, if not they will most likely ask why then. There sure is cheaper ways then the product in the commercial, over the counter drink up!
leave the shit alone.
I think I hate this guy and all his promises and claims, he is putting ideas into peoples head that can land people in the hospital. The company needs to be sued for false advertising SERIOUSLY!

mothers and daughters...lessons learned

For years I have been telling people and teachers my daughter is one of the nicest people I ever met. I have always known she had a fighting spirit, and strong will since she was under 2 months old.
I have always been told by family and strangers she was an ol soul. When she was little strangers would tell me she should be in print or tv/movies. Teachers would say "I love her" wanna take her home. She steals everyone hearts, while my youngest entertains everyone and my oldest we all live through her remembering what it was like to be her age.

Communication with her hasn't always been easy, I have always told her just how special she is and how impressed I am with her big heart.

Yesterday she learned what side effects of chemo and her medications are, but she may not get any side effects. She learned she will have to take medications for the rest of her life. She learned she will have to take chemo pill for the next five years. She learned she will have to take blood tests every two weeks for a long time. She learned her medication has increased in quanitity. She knows more uncomfortable tests are in her future. She knows she still has a lot more weight to gain back plus more. She knows what to look out for and what to tell me, then I can make note of and if needed call doctors.

When she talks about the procedures she had in the hsopital she says none of it hurt, although I know differently cause I was there and I did see or hear of tears. She has said herself its ok she has to take so many medications everyday it will keep her out of the hospital.

She doesn't complain about anything unless its really bothering her still its very quiet. She just wants the reassurance its going to be ok. I have learned my daughter young as she is, is one tough cookie, she has incrediable inner strength. Through everything she just smiles, tells everyone else its ok.

I am in so much awe of her, I never thought I would look up to one of my children as their were children. WOW! I have been blessed! She is such a wonderful person, rarely and I mean rarely gets into any kind of trouble at home, big big heart, stong will, inner strength, makes friends easily, still hugs up on me, Mom. I love her not just because its unconditional mother to duaghter love but I love the person she is.

mothers and daughters...hardest conversation to date

As a Mom I had to many of a tough choices. This morning was the hardest conversation ever had to do. This morning I talked with my child the typical side effects of taking chemo. I had too, she may not have any, but she needed to be told so she won't be scared or frightened.

Funny she already knew of locks of love, I linked to it a couple months ago because I thought it was a great cause.

She took the talk very well. I promised her if her hair comes out I will make sure she looks pretty all the time, but she has a pretty face and even more beautiful inside. She smiled when I told her if she becomes bald I will take her for henna, paint some pretty things on her head, or take her for a wig whatever she wants. She smiled big and she gave me big hugs.

She is so wonderful, so brave, so strong so much my angel.

just saying..everyone has an opinion doesn't make em an expert

The other day some woman neighbor was telling me it's my fault my oldest daughter doesn't know how pretty she is. Tried too give me advice. I told her she didn't know what she was talking about and has no background or history to talk about it. That didn't stop her oh no.
Look! (don't know why say look in a conversation when there is nothing to look at) I work very hard in teaching my girls self confidence and self esteem. The one has enough for three people. If I had my way they will think they are the best thing ever, then they would be less likely to be a victim. I walked away from the woman.

I am very tired of her advice and she is wrong. One day she was listening to the mother in law talk and talk and make all sorts of accusations. You should do this, you should do that.
I felt like I had to defend myself right in front of my mother in law. ITS NOT TRUE! I don't make her stay in her house never seeing anyone, she is over everyday between 4-12 hours. Whatever it was, I said it wasn't true. The mother in law had tears in her eyes.
No! in fact she has it pretty damn good, all her needs and wants are being met, she see's her son and grandchildren every day even gets served first every meal she has with us, we even take her with us on vacations.

One of the biggest reasons I like to keep to myself around here. People think they know your business but not really.

Personally, I am ok with my oldest being shy around the pool and shy to people in general. She has a womanly figure and the longer she is a virgin the better I am thinking. Pretty damn good in my book never been kissed by this age, yeah!

I am happy she isn't a big flirt like I was, oh and I still am. I have the esteem and experience to handle any response unlike her. It all will come in time and I have the time.

Alzheimers health...they should just kill themselves

Oh my peanut butter, yesterday the mother in law, heard on the news there is a patch that is hopeful for people with Alzheimers.
They should just kill themselves. She is sure getting onry in her age. I said nothing to her comment. Yesterday she came over around 2pm and she stayed only about two minutes and left. Only to return an hour later demanding help to find her glasses. Some one stole her glasses, I tried to say she had them on her face when she was over an hour before. "I was not here today!", she replied, I only said OK. I walked with her to her home a whole 30 seconds away. In that time she insisted she never takes off her glasses unless she goes to bed, even then she puts them by her bed therefore someone stole her glasses. I tried to assure her in that time, they are in her house.
Sure enough they were easy to find on the dinner table. She tried to laugh it off it would be impossible for anyone to find its dark in her house. I reminded her she was blind in one eye, "NO I am not!"
Yes, honey you are, the eye doctor I took you too said so. "OH Yeah, my one eye (touching it) was hurt in the WAR, this one can't see so well. " Ok then we will see you a little later, yes?!
She returned 45 minutes later .

Apparently she has been driving the family crazy wondering about her grand daughter in the hospital. It was hard, my daughter would say I am not up to grandma visiting me, yet grandma wanted to go to the hospital.

One visit grandma was playing with the balloons strung to the chair she sat in. She released them, playing around I asked her if the balloons were bothering her. "NO, I didn't know what it was." Another visit she asked where were they all, the daughter in the hospital bed said we are in the hospital.

At one point the mother in law was telling a neighbor her grand daughter was in the hospital but couldn't remember her name and asked my oldest for the name.

Yesterday, she accused me of stealing her money. I only reminded her some of the places including on herself, she puts her money. She scared the hell out of me, she was sobbing in the rest room as she was opening the door. It was quite verbal and loud, I inquired if she was ok and if something happened in the restroom. She denied she was crying or in pain.
Seriously people don't sob like that unless something is up, she just denied it.
Maybe she cried and didn't realize how loud she was, maybe she realized she had another "accident". I don't know, I was very concerned though.

She kept asking me yesterday when my daughter was coming home from the hospital. Even though she just saw her a minute before. I tried to say how long she has been home from the hospital and even once or twice said you just saw her a moment ago. "No, I didn't she isn't here!" She is outside trust me go join them, but its hot outside.

Funny, she is very talkative and the accusations come out when her son, my spouse isn't in the room.

The mother in law is having a hard time absorbing how sick my daughter really is. Yes she is healthy enough to come home from the hospital but she has some many medications to take and have to really watch what she eats and look out for side effects. At different times we tried to tell the mother in law they don't give blood transfusions to healthy kids.
I think, it would probably be best to just say she is fine.

Mothers and daughters...keeping strong

First morning home, the daughter slept in, no more being woke up 6am for blood work and to be weighed along with vital signs.
Fighting back the tears, I put on the medical gloves, got out the cutting board and large knive, slowly and carefully cut 30 chemo pills in half for her. Then washed throughly and bleached both the knive and cutting board. It hit me, its 60 days of this medication.

At least she has no problem taking all her meds, does all but one without water.
She is happy to be home and has went back to normal activity for her.

This treatment is effecting my mind and heart, I think more then her. Well it's not fatal but she will have this health issue for the rest of her life.

more updates later...

Mothers and daughters...its good to be home

Finally my baby girl has been released from the hospital 9 days in. Its good to be able to come home with her. Back to the normal life as much as you can be . Unfortunately I have to give her 10 pills at breakfast and two at lunch and two at dinner, she has become used too it all. Only two prescriptions are three times a day. Pills like antibiotics, steroids, chemo, and even vitamins etc.
Yeah fun. But its great to be home with my little daughter.
UPdates later.

mothers and daughters..9 days and counting

I have been next to litterally next to my daughter for nine days and counting. I have been cut off from the anything beyond her. I don't know whats going on in the world at all. All's I do know she is in the hospital for the past 5 days and will continue to be in the hospital for another week.
She has recieved a blood transfusion already, and has began treatments that will be for the next 6 weeks. Even when she does come home she will be on IV drip.
I have come home to take a bath, shave, and update a few relatives, friends and those at home and get more laundry for the next week.
my youngest is taking this all very well, my oldest is stepping up and being the her role as the oldest sibling.

I am very tired, mentaly, emotional and physicaly, but none of this is about me, no! I will not cry in front of her. She has me all too herself and she is happy with it. My little angel always has been always will be.

mothers and daughters ..dont wanna leaver her

So my little girl is in the hospital and I only came home to shower and change. She will be there for another day or two. Well if you know me then you have numbers and emails addresses.

Mothers and daughters...be next to me

My daughter continues to have a fever it is now 5 days. She has just been asking for my company while she just lays in bed. Just to be in the same room or next to her in my bed. That's the thing about human touch. Holding Mom's hand while feeling bad makes her feel better if only emotionally.
Last night her little sister was restless, and having problems falling asleep. She has been jealous I am sure, all my atttention has been with her sister. She usualy shares her room with her sister she isn't used to sleeping alone. It was past her bedtime, I ended up just putting my arm over her and she feel asleep in 5 minutes. I still got it .
They still want their mom.

I am off this morning to take my daughter to a doctor. I am going to have to push for different screenings. I have to get them to find the source of her fevers and be healthy again. I need her to get back to bugging me every hour she wants to do something, just laying in bed isn't her nature. My child shouldn't be in bed with fevers for this long. There is something wrong.
I really can't do anything else or think about anything else but getting her the medical help.
I am out of my mind with worry.

Annoying actors

johnny depp is an American Orginal, what the? What-ever! I remember him giving an interview years ago, he hated America thats why he left the country and got duel citizenship else where and got himself a lady.
Now, he likes America now that the roles are coming in with bigger paychecks.
Many millions of persons who saw the same show as I did forgot but I didn't.

Fine whatever he is entitled to speak his mind, just wrong. I hate America gonna leave oh wait , home sweet home big money is involved.

Mothers and daughters...feeling powerless

Nothing feels more powerless then unable to get my daughter feeling better. My second child has been having a fever for about 5 days now. 6 1/2 hours in ER last night only proved she hasn't an infection in the screenings they did from urine and blood. Yet when a child has average 103 for 5 days there is something going on. I can't do anything about it. I keep her company and watch her vital signs and got her an appointment with a doctor tomorrow.

I know there is something going on in her little body, this isn't right!
I keep telling her, a MOM is a 24 hour job, no matter the time, too wake me and tell me she is feeling bad. It is my job!

I am worried out of my mind.

Myspace horror stories..right n wrong

Normally, I would say it's pretty easy to determine the difference between right and wrong. I have found myself struggling what to do. What is the right thing to do.
I have come across some myspace profiles that could be very dangerous for the minors. In the comment section is a physical house address with words like party and swimming, also included is a phone number for rsvp. The minors show their pictures and even say what school they go to and what city it is. The minors who comment have their pictures attached with the comments and they too go to the same school.
I am scared for these kids. They are basically local to me, well sort of. If I can read the comments who else can too. I am struggling with if I should make a copy of it all and mail the school or go to the police department and have them look into it. The owners or renters of the home should know that the address is being publicly advertised as "party".
Scary times we are living in at this moment that address could be monitored with photos and information in hand, just waiting for the perfect time.

Should or shouldn't I speak up?

desserts

I used to tell the kids dessert is a treat, they are not going to get it every night. I didn't want them to expect it. Recently things have changed. The idea of dessert has changed. I am more likely to let them have dessert many times a month now.
Dessert now can be all sorts of things. Fruit, kids cereal, a trip to the juice bar, hot chocolate, and popcorn. Very nice, the kids think a cup of popcorn is dessert and they can put it in the microwave themselves. Cereal for dessert has got to be better then ice-cream and/or cake. They want a banana for dessert oh my heart sings in pride. Healthy choices and healthy amounts it doesn't get any better.

Farm or not to farm ..show me the money

government pays not to farm I first heard of this oh about five years ago. Driving through the midwest full of farms it was clear. Something was going on, why some farms had over growth, verses some farms nothing in the field, some farms can figure out, what the crop was. The homes ranged from modest to mansion like in style. Never been a farmer myself the observation was confusing.
The person I was with who had farmed, who had family who had always farmed, told me how the government pays people not to farm. What happens is Corporations take advantage of it buy up land to let it sit. The family who have farmed for generations after generations struggle.
A year or two ago one of those gossip shows, pointed out the tv and movie stars who are taking advantage of this, buying up big farm lands and get paid not to farm.

It not a lack of people keeping with the heritage of this country and family line. Its about over production.

I ask one question to think about. In California the gas prices are higher then other parts of the country because of ethanol additives. Midwest farmers are told the corn they grow must be for other purposes then consumption. Combined with this and the government paying people not to farm why is fuel expensive? It doesn't seem right.

Basic Economics101 control the supply and demand, control the prices.
Look close to home next time wanna complain about the prices of fuel. Look homeward for the pricing of consumer goods in general.

What made this country is the farmers and the manual laborers all the blue collar workers. Everything comes from their labor, the food we eat, the clothes on our backs to the roofs over our heads even all the different ways to travel, even technology and medicines.
It's a shame really, as a nation we should come together and support the blue collar workers more.
It's easier to be sheep and follow the distractions and smoke and mirrors of the politicians, they point out into the distance and look that direction.pisses me off.